Hi Friends,

I last wrote to you 6 weeks ago.

I told you that my cancer treatment was going according to schedule and that I felt suspiciously good.

I also asked you to *knock on ALL the wood* and apparently, there wasn’t enough knocking 🙃

I haven’t been cleared to receive chemotherapy for 6 weeks due to elevated liver enzymes.

I guess I spoke too soon.

If you’ve been following along on Instagram, you have an idea of the roller coaster of emotions I’ve felt through this - I never thought being turned away from chemotherapy would be so upsetting but this was the first time since treatment started that I had faced a roadblock.

I wrote this poem on a hot walk around Manhattan recently that best encapsulates up how I’ve been:

After 6 weeks of gastroenterologist appointments, MRIs, oncology check-ins, a surgical liver biopsy and a LOT of bloodwork, I’m happy to report that my minor liver damage is not anything worse than what we (weirdly) hoped it to be: damage due to chemotherapy. You see chemo not only kills my fast-growing cancer cells - it also kills or slows the growth of healthy cells that grow and divide quickly. My liver seems to have gotten the brunt of that so far.

Tomorrow - they will lower the dose of the infusion that is suspected to be doing the damage (Taxol) and introduce my other infusion (Carboplatin) back separetely next week. This is the best outcome we could have hoped for when things like autoimmune disease, liver failure and cancer spread were on the table.

I’ve stopped saying I’m now 6 weeks behind schedule and started realizing there is no schedule. Delays are common and this, or a variation, could happen again.

With at least 14 more infusions ahead of me, surgery and likely, radiation, I’m still much closer to the starting line than the finish line. This delay means I’ll miss a friend’s wedding, likely my 10 year college reunion and my chemotherapy will extend into the baseball offseason (how my husband and I measure time).

And athough this break in treatment has been frustrating, t’s gifted me more time in the kingdom of the well (Susan Sontag - Illness as a Metaphor) - emabling me to take some strategic steps in my business like bring on part-time help and launch something in August I’m really excited about. More on that another time

It also hasn’t hindered the effectiveness of my treatment so far

I’m taking the drugs - and those drugs are working!

What I Need 🙏

Thank you thank you for continuing to support - the Thursday voice notes and texts to get me through chemo mean SO much! Here’s a quick refresher on various ways you can continue to support:

• Give me your recs 📚 What are you reading/listening to/watching that you think I’d enjoy? Reply to this email and give me your recs!

• Feed me / Drive me 🍴🚖 Not literally - but I’ll gladly accept UberCash to fund Jake & I’s nourshiment and transportation to/from treatment. Just share to my personal email [email protected].

• Fund me 💓 The medical bills continue to stack up & as a small business owner, I can really only work part-time right now which directly impacts how much I take in. I’m thankful to have a great support system but, as crass as it seems to me, money really will help and venmo makes that easy!

All that being said, you being here and supporting my favorite way to cope, writing, is enough. The above is just for those that want and have the ability to do more!Until next time,

Jess

✨ Follow along on TikTok & Instagram✨